The major dilemma of us single males in middle age are the pressures we get from society. Not unless any among us is brave enough to ‘come-out’ about his sexual orientation, he will be constantly questioned why he is not yet married or at least have a child of his own.
Not once during family gatherings was I asked about why I remained single. One relative, an evangelical pastor, even insinuated that my taking care of other children not my own such as nieces and nephews or adopt orphans are not good enough; that I have to sire my own from the “fruits of my loin” to please the Creator. Even in this time and age, I never disregard the words of God saying, “Go bear fruit and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), but I never knew God to be so demanding as how he suggested. Moreover, he made it sound as if God is a bigot! It was audacious of him to say what in my life is pleasing to God or not. While we are related, we are not close enough to know each other. So, what does he know about what and who I am? Only God knows and He be my judge.
Not once during family gatherings was I asked about why I remained single. One relative, an evangelical pastor, even insinuated that my taking care of other children not my own such as nieces and nephews or adopt orphans are not good enough; that I have to sire my own from the “fruits of my loin” to please the Creator. Even in this time and age, I never disregard the words of God saying, “Go bear fruit and multiply” (Genesis 1:28), but I never knew God to be so demanding as how he suggested. Moreover, he made it sound as if God is a bigot! It was audacious of him to say what in my life is pleasing to God or not. While we are related, we are not close enough to know each other. So, what does he know about what and who I am? Only God knows and He be my judge.
Our culture indeed dictates that fatherhood is the ultimate expression of masculinity. It is a common notion that not until a man had sired a child, he is not fully a man. A man is regarded macho only when he was able to bring to the world, so to speak, the “fruit of his loins”. The measure of his virility is somehow proportionate to the number of children he has. Furthermore, nothing can be more virile than a man fathering from several womb.
I am not against all those who had children by more than one woman. Probably among us may have by some warranted circumstances. Neither I am against having so much children. Children afterall are blessings of the Lord. It is rather engaging in such, driven only by manly proclivities.
In some instances the masculine allure of fathers exudes. A certain sexiness may attract women to men who are father figure. Oftentimes the attraction is not physical but the profound sense of security and tender notion are what draws women to some fathers. How strange it is for a woman to want a man, married with children, that what attract her to him are the same reasons that keeps them apart.
I am not against all those who had children by more than one woman. Probably among us may have by some warranted circumstances. Neither I am against having so much children. Children afterall are blessings of the Lord. It is rather engaging in such, driven only by manly proclivities.
In some instances the masculine allure of fathers exudes. A certain sexiness may attract women to men who are father figure. Oftentimes the attraction is not physical but the profound sense of security and tender notion are what draws women to some fathers. How strange it is for a woman to want a man, married with children, that what attract her to him are the same reasons that keeps them apart.
The males as species are inherently competitive, particularly in their expression of sexuality. Yet we have evolved through the ages, certain traits remain to guarantee the survival of the race. Such are the attitudes toward procreation. Yet there may be some truth to these, it is unfortunate that we stop at this notion and disregard the true reason for fatherhood as it is ordained by the Creator.
Nowadays however we were able to integrate the primitive instinct with the values of character that defines modern fatherhood. We were able to view it in terms beyond biological but also include the moral and ethical aspects of being a man.
Virtue, its root vir is from the word virility; meaning pure; signify strength of character not of machismo. I was surprise to learn about this because I often associate this word as feminine as in the word virgin. This apparently indicates that there is a moral quality to being a man. This is what distinguishes us from the other species. There is more to masculinity than what the male ego has perceived it to be.
Jesus said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last and make himself the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35) He told these to his disciples as a response to their bickering about whom among them is the greatest. This was a radical teaching during that time since Jewish society was predominantly patriarchal. As it is now, men will try to outdo each other in every endeavor. Whether it is in physical agility, intellectual capacity or spiritual aptitude, a man will long to prove that he is cut above the rest. And prove he is ‘bigger’, ‘larger’ or ‘better’ than other men.
But the greater competition any man will have to face is not against other men but his self. To face the challenges of fatherhood can be overwhelming yet may also be a frightening experience. While he may be socially proud, expectation of him to do his responsibility can be too much particularly among those who weren’t prepared for it.
Nowadays however we were able to integrate the primitive instinct with the values of character that defines modern fatherhood. We were able to view it in terms beyond biological but also include the moral and ethical aspects of being a man.
Virtue, its root vir is from the word virility; meaning pure; signify strength of character not of machismo. I was surprise to learn about this because I often associate this word as feminine as in the word virgin. This apparently indicates that there is a moral quality to being a man. This is what distinguishes us from the other species. There is more to masculinity than what the male ego has perceived it to be.
Jesus said, “If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last and make himself the servant of all.” (Mark 9:35) He told these to his disciples as a response to their bickering about whom among them is the greatest. This was a radical teaching during that time since Jewish society was predominantly patriarchal. As it is now, men will try to outdo each other in every endeavor. Whether it is in physical agility, intellectual capacity or spiritual aptitude, a man will long to prove that he is cut above the rest. And prove he is ‘bigger’, ‘larger’ or ‘better’ than other men.
But the greater competition any man will have to face is not against other men but his self. To face the challenges of fatherhood can be overwhelming yet may also be a frightening experience. While he may be socially proud, expectation of him to do his responsibility can be too much particularly among those who weren’t prepared for it.
Most abortions are consummated by the instigation of men who were not prepared or reluctant to take the responsibility of fatherhood. Most women who had an abortion will attest that they were forced to do it because their men demanded they did. Any man who is not man enough to face his responsibility is nothing but a miserable coward. He is willing to extinguish a helpless being, moreover of his own flesh, just to escape the demands of being a father.
Then Jesus took a little child, set him in the midst of them, and putting His arms around him said to them, “Whoever welcomes a child such as this in my Name, welcomes Me; and whoever welcomes Me, welcomes not Me but he One who sent Me.” (Mark 9:37)
With these words, we must realize that every child that comes in our midst has to be welcomed because they are of God. To terminate the life of the unborn go against the moral fiber of any society. Hence, every father’s refusal to take responsibility is a refusal of life itself.
Then Jesus took a little child, set him in the midst of them, and putting His arms around him said to them, “Whoever welcomes a child such as this in my Name, welcomes Me; and whoever welcomes Me, welcomes not Me but he One who sent Me.” (Mark 9:37)
With these words, we must realize that every child that comes in our midst has to be welcomed because they are of God. To terminate the life of the unborn go against the moral fiber of any society. Hence, every father’s refusal to take responsibility is a refusal of life itself.
Fatherhood indeed is a stamp of a man’s masculinity not because of this biological or sexual capacity but his ability to integrate the manly demands of society with his personal values ingrained in his moral core. While he may be proud of his status, he is ever mindful of his parental responsibility.
To be masculine is to be moral. A genuine man is the one who upholds the sanctity of life and is fully committed to it. To be fully a man, one has to be brave enough to face the challenges of fatherhood. And the best father is the one who is dedicated to his role. A man’s virility is measured not by how sexually adept he is but how virtuous and truthful he lives according to God’s tenets.
To those of you fathers who have read this blog:
My prayer is for you be the best father that you can every be. May God, our Father, abide with you in your parental endeavors and aspirations! Keep up the good work!
Yours in Christ,
DJ FLAME
To be masculine is to be moral. A genuine man is the one who upholds the sanctity of life and is fully committed to it. To be fully a man, one has to be brave enough to face the challenges of fatherhood. And the best father is the one who is dedicated to his role. A man’s virility is measured not by how sexually adept he is but how virtuous and truthful he lives according to God’s tenets.
To those of you fathers who have read this blog:
My prayer is for you be the best father that you can every be. May God, our Father, abide with you in your parental endeavors and aspirations! Keep up the good work!
Yours in Christ,
DJ FLAME
