The death of my father twelve years ago was perhaps the most painful experience I had, so far. I left robbed of every opportunity that should have been mine. I felt betrayed by the very man who should have looked after my welfare, gave me security and protected my rights. I was depressed and felt so powerless. I don’t want to go on anymore. I wanted to give-up. I wanted to die. I had restless nights. Awake late the following day. Lock-up myself and sulk. I almost shut myself off to the world. Looking back, I was like a ‘dead-man’ walking. I was without future only a past filled with bitter memories. The emotional turmoil happening within me was too much for me to bear. Or so I thought.
How did I survive? – Inspiration.
In the midst of my misery, I never gave-up praying even if most of the time all I could manage to ask God was “Why?” At certain times, the “why?” is followed by “Are you there?” I never did doubt the existence of God. Yet I admit I felt He let me down. Yes, I told Him that.
I struggled to get-up, figuratively and literally. I would go to church as often as I could. It was a blessing that any where I live a church is always nearby. It was better to be here than wallow in self-pity at home. Besides, the sacred ambiance gave me a sense of solace. Here, I would hear Mass, say my prayers or just let time pass away. In these moments do I wonder what the other people doing here? What do each keep within their heart or what do they pray for? I feel a certain oneness with them. God showed me that I’m not alone in my suffering. We all need God. That’s why we are here.
Outside the church, vendors and beggars are common sight. These people are the epitome of poverty in this country. Among them is Lito.
Actually, I just gave him that name. We never really met each other. I have never known him personally but I often spotted him on a sidewalk by the church peddling garlands of sampaguita, the Philippine’s national flower used as an offering in church altars because of its fragrance. He would try to sell to everyone passing by especially those going to the church.
A stocky, sun-darkened complexion in his late twenties, Lito has never left his place regardless of the weather. I have seen him sweat under the heat of the afternoon sun and soaked to the skin during heavy rains. Yet, the smile (with some teeth missing) that he generously shares with others seems to conceal whatever pain he was experiencing. I have heard his hearty laugher while kidding with the other vendors. Once, I bought sampaguita from him and courteously thanked me for it.
It’s an ordinary story you may say, but not quite.
You see, Lito is an amputee. He doesn’t have limbs.
Yes, no arms, no legs. Only stumps of flesh were left where the missing parts are supposed to be. He moves from place to place by paddling a wheeled plank (like a skateboard, only broader to accommodate his whole body) with what remained of his upper arms.
At the sight of it, I could guess it was congenital. However, I don’t have the guts to ask him how he really lost his limbs. I think it would be impertinent of me to do so. It doesn’t matter since Lito doesn’t seem to mind.
I can’t help but admire the guy for being so strong and courageous. Can you imagine how a physically-handicapped (or ‘differently-abled’ to be politically correct) man fight the odds just to make something good out of his life? To be productive, even!
Then I asked myself, what am I doing with myself? Will I waste my life like this? If Lito can do it, why can’t I? Upon this realization, I was ashamed for demanding too much from God. Afterall, He gave me a complete body to go through life’s trials. I have been blessed with intelligence and the opportunity to get an education. What more should I ask? God equipped me with the necessary blessings that I can use to go through the difficulties of living. Lito took up his cross. I should too.
The cross faces us constantly. It is the symbol of the trials we always encounter in life. And Jesus challenges us as he said, “Take up your cross daily and follow me!” (Luke 9:23) But that word ‘daily’ is what gets to us. The daily chores become so routine and boring. The pressures and stresses of each day are like a grinding wheel. Yet, we must rise above these feelings, of fear and uncertainty. We must learn to be happy with each day as it is a gift from God. We must accept its special challenges and to inspire others by living our sense of purpose.
It’s been years since I last saw Lito. I no longer see him in his usual place. Maybe he had gone to face greater challenges somewhere. I never had the chance to get to know him. Or even talk to him briefly about how he had changed my perception in life. I could have thanked him for allowing himself to be used as God’s instrument for me to see things differently. In a way, he had taught me (and I thought I was so learned) a lesson that can never be acquired in any institution of learning. God’s ways are mysterious. Indeed, He uses the lowly of this world to manifest His glory to the proud and conceited at heart. And nothing can be so humbling than that.
Let us pray,
Heavenly Father,
I humbly ask for Your forgiveness if I took for granted Your gifts; for misusing them for worthless purposes or for serving my own selfish interest.
Thank you very much for Your blessings most especially for the gift of salvation through Your Son Jesus Christ. Teach me to carry my daily cross as He did to Calvary and give me the strength to follow His examples.
Let me be Your courageous instrument of goodness and kindness to others. Likewise, may I always recognize You in others. May we learn to bear with one another as we carry our respective crosses; always patient and persevering in every trial.
And lastly, Lord, I respectfully submit to Your divine will. May I fulfill my life’s purpose accordingly, so that I may serve to Your greater glory. Amen.
How did I survive? – Inspiration.
In the midst of my misery, I never gave-up praying even if most of the time all I could manage to ask God was “Why?” At certain times, the “why?” is followed by “Are you there?” I never did doubt the existence of God. Yet I admit I felt He let me down. Yes, I told Him that.
I struggled to get-up, figuratively and literally. I would go to church as often as I could. It was a blessing that any where I live a church is always nearby. It was better to be here than wallow in self-pity at home. Besides, the sacred ambiance gave me a sense of solace. Here, I would hear Mass, say my prayers or just let time pass away. In these moments do I wonder what the other people doing here? What do each keep within their heart or what do they pray for? I feel a certain oneness with them. God showed me that I’m not alone in my suffering. We all need God. That’s why we are here.
Outside the church, vendors and beggars are common sight. These people are the epitome of poverty in this country. Among them is Lito.
Actually, I just gave him that name. We never really met each other. I have never known him personally but I often spotted him on a sidewalk by the church peddling garlands of sampaguita, the Philippine’s national flower used as an offering in church altars because of its fragrance. He would try to sell to everyone passing by especially those going to the church.
A stocky, sun-darkened complexion in his late twenties, Lito has never left his place regardless of the weather. I have seen him sweat under the heat of the afternoon sun and soaked to the skin during heavy rains. Yet, the smile (with some teeth missing) that he generously shares with others seems to conceal whatever pain he was experiencing. I have heard his hearty laugher while kidding with the other vendors. Once, I bought sampaguita from him and courteously thanked me for it.
It’s an ordinary story you may say, but not quite.
You see, Lito is an amputee. He doesn’t have limbs.
Yes, no arms, no legs. Only stumps of flesh were left where the missing parts are supposed to be. He moves from place to place by paddling a wheeled plank (like a skateboard, only broader to accommodate his whole body) with what remained of his upper arms.
At the sight of it, I could guess it was congenital. However, I don’t have the guts to ask him how he really lost his limbs. I think it would be impertinent of me to do so. It doesn’t matter since Lito doesn’t seem to mind.
I can’t help but admire the guy for being so strong and courageous. Can you imagine how a physically-handicapped (or ‘differently-abled’ to be politically correct) man fight the odds just to make something good out of his life? To be productive, even!
Then I asked myself, what am I doing with myself? Will I waste my life like this? If Lito can do it, why can’t I? Upon this realization, I was ashamed for demanding too much from God. Afterall, He gave me a complete body to go through life’s trials. I have been blessed with intelligence and the opportunity to get an education. What more should I ask? God equipped me with the necessary blessings that I can use to go through the difficulties of living. Lito took up his cross. I should too.
The cross faces us constantly. It is the symbol of the trials we always encounter in life. And Jesus challenges us as he said, “Take up your cross daily and follow me!” (Luke 9:23) But that word ‘daily’ is what gets to us. The daily chores become so routine and boring. The pressures and stresses of each day are like a grinding wheel. Yet, we must rise above these feelings, of fear and uncertainty. We must learn to be happy with each day as it is a gift from God. We must accept its special challenges and to inspire others by living our sense of purpose.
It’s been years since I last saw Lito. I no longer see him in his usual place. Maybe he had gone to face greater challenges somewhere. I never had the chance to get to know him. Or even talk to him briefly about how he had changed my perception in life. I could have thanked him for allowing himself to be used as God’s instrument for me to see things differently. In a way, he had taught me (and I thought I was so learned) a lesson that can never be acquired in any institution of learning. God’s ways are mysterious. Indeed, He uses the lowly of this world to manifest His glory to the proud and conceited at heart. And nothing can be so humbling than that.
Let us pray,
Heavenly Father,
I humbly ask for Your forgiveness if I took for granted Your gifts; for misusing them for worthless purposes or for serving my own selfish interest.
Thank you very much for Your blessings most especially for the gift of salvation through Your Son Jesus Christ. Teach me to carry my daily cross as He did to Calvary and give me the strength to follow His examples.
Let me be Your courageous instrument of goodness and kindness to others. Likewise, may I always recognize You in others. May we learn to bear with one another as we carry our respective crosses; always patient and persevering in every trial.
And lastly, Lord, I respectfully submit to Your divine will. May I fulfill my life’s purpose accordingly, so that I may serve to Your greater glory. Amen.
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