Dedicated to Eleanor M. Vargas-Dondero M.D.
I was rummaging over old notebooks the other day for something to write about. Until, I stumbled on the following piece that brought back a bitter-sweet memory of my days as a medical student. It is entitled And God Said “No” by Claudia Minden Weisz. Here it is:
I asked God to take away my pride. And God said, “No.”
He said it was not for Him to take away but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said, “No.”
He said her spirit is whole, her body temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said, “No.”
He said that patience is a by product of tribulation; it isn’t granted. It is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said, “No.”
He said He gives me blessings; happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said “No.”
He said, “Suffering draws you apart from wordly cares and bring you close to Me.”
I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said, “No.”
He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked God if He loves me. And God said, “Yes.”
He gave me His only Son who died for me and I will be in heaven someday because I believe.
I asked God to help me love others as much as He loves me.
And God said, “Ah, finally you have the idea!”
Upon reading this piece of fine writing, I thought about how often we may have misunderstood God. Aside from the acceptance of God’s will, it is most certain that the other great challenge we each face in our prayer life is the determination of what is God’s will. We could endlessly ask God for anything but if it wasn’t His will, it shall never be granted. If it is however allowed by Him (take note: allowed not granted) chances are it will not be good for us, yet he permit that as to reveal to us a specific message or teach us a lesson.
Our prayers oftentimes demands of God to give what we want and not what we need. While we believe that He knows better and provide for our necessities even before we ever ask, we tend to forget that we have an actual role in order for us to receive what we need. Even if we believe that “nothing is impossible to God”- (Luke 1:37), we are aware that our temporal needs just don’t materialize in mystical fashion nowadays, such as the manna (see Exodus 16) from heaven. Miracles, or any acts that defy the laws of nature, are exclusively divine prerogative. Yet God may sometimes work in spectacular ways (such those revealed in scriptures or unscientific healings), His will are mostly carried-out in discreet manner; revealed through ordinary occurrences that can only be seen through the ‘eyes of faith’.
There are times in our life when God seems so distant. It is when He seems deaf to our prayers that we tend to doubt or get frustrated of Him. Only to realize that He had a better option for us than what we ask of Him.
I was rummaging over old notebooks the other day for something to write about. Until, I stumbled on the following piece that brought back a bitter-sweet memory of my days as a medical student. It is entitled And God Said “No” by Claudia Minden Weisz. Here it is:
I asked God to take away my pride. And God said, “No.”
He said it was not for Him to take away but for me to give up.
I asked God to make my handicapped child whole. And God said, “No.”
He said her spirit is whole, her body temporary.
I asked God to grant me patience. And God said, “No.”
He said that patience is a by product of tribulation; it isn’t granted. It is earned.
I asked God to give me happiness. And God said, “No.”
He said He gives me blessings; happiness is up to me.
I asked God to spare me pain. And God said “No.”
He said, “Suffering draws you apart from wordly cares and bring you close to Me.”
I asked God to make my spirit grow. And God said, “No.”
He said I must grow on my own. But He will prune me to make me fruitful.
I asked God if He loves me. And God said, “Yes.”
He gave me His only Son who died for me and I will be in heaven someday because I believe.
I asked God to help me love others as much as He loves me.
And God said, “Ah, finally you have the idea!”
Upon reading this piece of fine writing, I thought about how often we may have misunderstood God. Aside from the acceptance of God’s will, it is most certain that the other great challenge we each face in our prayer life is the determination of what is God’s will. We could endlessly ask God for anything but if it wasn’t His will, it shall never be granted. If it is however allowed by Him (take note: allowed not granted) chances are it will not be good for us, yet he permit that as to reveal to us a specific message or teach us a lesson.
Our prayers oftentimes demands of God to give what we want and not what we need. While we believe that He knows better and provide for our necessities even before we ever ask, we tend to forget that we have an actual role in order for us to receive what we need. Even if we believe that “nothing is impossible to God”- (Luke 1:37), we are aware that our temporal needs just don’t materialize in mystical fashion nowadays, such as the manna (see Exodus 16) from heaven. Miracles, or any acts that defy the laws of nature, are exclusively divine prerogative. Yet God may sometimes work in spectacular ways (such those revealed in scriptures or unscientific healings), His will are mostly carried-out in discreet manner; revealed through ordinary occurrences that can only be seen through the ‘eyes of faith’.
There are times in our life when God seems so distant. It is when He seems deaf to our prayers that we tend to doubt or get frustrated of Him. Only to realize that He had a better option for us than what we ask of Him.
Looking back during my medical studies, it was when I experienced the most difficult time of my young-adult life. It was a time of tremendous family and personal crisis. I could have given up on my studies sooner, primarily because of financial constraints; add to the burden of my father’s terminal illness. Moreover, I struggled through personal indecision to discontinue since I am not inclined to be a doctor, or to keep on pleasing my father who wanted me to be one.
In the midst of the personal chaos and struggles I experienced, I prayed to God for a way out. I had often, in desperation, cried to Him for help. Yet He seems to keep me there forever. But I later realized that He did so because He had a greater purpose for doing so.
To make a long story short, I eventually dropped-out of medical school and my father passed away but not before he came to terms with my decision. At this point, it seems meaningless that after going through the rigors, nothing substantial came out of my experience. You may wonder what had been God’s purpose for keeping me longer in med-school if He didn’t make me finish the course. The answer is written above.
The above writing, And God said “No”, was shared to me by a friend. Simple gestures such as this gave me reassurance and encouragement during those times. You see, it was during these most trying times that I was able to established meaningful friendships. In the midst of the bitter memories are the sweet ones with friends. I shall never forget the camaraderie, the acceptance and mutual understanding that I experienced with each of them. Indeed, according to an old adage, “True friendships are tested not in prosperity but in adversity.” I have no regret over my decision to quit since it was inevitable. I moved on however with greater courage because of the support and concern of those I’ve been with. Because of them I became emotionally stronger. I then came to realize that God never did abandon me. He was there with me all along, in each of the people who cared, shared of themselves and treated me with respect. I now learned that whatever God’s response to our prayers, “yes” or “no”, are for our greater good. And He does so for the love of each of us.
In the midst of the personal chaos and struggles I experienced, I prayed to God for a way out. I had often, in desperation, cried to Him for help. Yet He seems to keep me there forever. But I later realized that He did so because He had a greater purpose for doing so.
To make a long story short, I eventually dropped-out of medical school and my father passed away but not before he came to terms with my decision. At this point, it seems meaningless that after going through the rigors, nothing substantial came out of my experience. You may wonder what had been God’s purpose for keeping me longer in med-school if He didn’t make me finish the course. The answer is written above.
The above writing, And God said “No”, was shared to me by a friend. Simple gestures such as this gave me reassurance and encouragement during those times. You see, it was during these most trying times that I was able to established meaningful friendships. In the midst of the bitter memories are the sweet ones with friends. I shall never forget the camaraderie, the acceptance and mutual understanding that I experienced with each of them. Indeed, according to an old adage, “True friendships are tested not in prosperity but in adversity.” I have no regret over my decision to quit since it was inevitable. I moved on however with greater courage because of the support and concern of those I’ve been with. Because of them I became emotionally stronger. I then came to realize that God never did abandon me. He was there with me all along, in each of the people who cared, shared of themselves and treated me with respect. I now learned that whatever God’s response to our prayers, “yes” or “no”, are for our greater good. And He does so for the love of each of us.
God indeed work in mysterious ways. He does reveal Himself to us constantly. And He does speak to us in the events of daily life. We just have to learn to fully trust Him. His response to our prayers might be always a “No”, but by keeping our heart open to His will, we’ll discover that it was an open-ended statement which is followed by His explanation that can only be understood by faith. Only then can we make sense of our faith in Him and fully appreciate His wonderful and loving kindness to us all.
God our Father,
Thank You for ever replying to my prayers.
Even with a “No”, I have faith that
You know what is better for me.
Teach me to submit always to Your will.
Grant me to wait constantly for You as
I let You work on my prayers in Your own
perfect time.
Bless my friends wherever they may be.
Keep them safe and their families joyful.
Help them be successful in their endeavors.
While we go about our respective lives,
let us continue to keep the fires of friendship burning.
And that we may be blessed by one another’s presence.
I pray for the others who have helped or supported me
in any way they could and may each one of them
continue to bear Your countenance among those
who are earnestly seeking You.
I ask for Your constant protection and grant us
the graces that we need to fulfill our life’s purpose.
I ask these by the Name of Jesus, our Lord, Savior
and King of our lives. Amen.
Mary, Help of Christians,
Pray for us!
God our Father,
Thank You for ever replying to my prayers.
Even with a “No”, I have faith that
You know what is better for me.
Teach me to submit always to Your will.
Grant me to wait constantly for You as
I let You work on my prayers in Your own
perfect time.
Bless my friends wherever they may be.
Keep them safe and their families joyful.
Help them be successful in their endeavors.
While we go about our respective lives,
let us continue to keep the fires of friendship burning.
And that we may be blessed by one another’s presence.
I pray for the others who have helped or supported me
in any way they could and may each one of them
continue to bear Your countenance among those
who are earnestly seeking You.
I ask for Your constant protection and grant us
the graces that we need to fulfill our life’s purpose.
I ask these by the Name of Jesus, our Lord, Savior
and King of our lives. Amen.
Mary, Help of Christians,
Pray for us!
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